Infirmus est clamor
by twiloverwithabigimagination
Summary: Crying is for the weak. Pain is for the broken hearted. Love is for those who deserve it. Do they deserve love? Does the group of rift-rafs? can the potential love and the past love be forgiven? Infirmus est clamor aka Crying is for the weak. M 4 lang.
1. I will not cry

**A/N Hey guys! this is a new story! I started this because I needed to get my creative juices flowing so I hope you love it. I just need a break 14yss: the beginnning of the end...so yeah this is sort of based off of what happened with a friend of mine so its realistic-fiction...somewhat. I hope you enjoy.**

_I looked hopelessly at them. Both their stares cold and detached. I was angry and hurt and felt so betrayed I couldn't bare to continue this conversation any longer. Looking at my past love and my potential love, I thought it was it for me. Happiness wasn't for me and it will never be. I would be that cold heartless bitch forever. Nothing could save me from my misery._

_"Leah, you're just going to have to move on." Sam spoke with a firm voice, when I heard it I felt as if heavy cinder blocks were pushing down on me._

_"I know." I said dully._

_"It's not that we don't think you're a good wolf its just-" _

_"Its just that you and Jacob believe that I am just here to bitch and be a burden." I stated._

_"It's not that, its just-" Jacob tried to reason with me but it fell on deaf ears as tears started to form in my eyes. _

_"It's just that I don't belong with either of you." The tears slipped from my face then. I am not sure whether they understood my double meaning then but then again I don't think they ever will understand._

_They would never understand how much they meant to me._

_They would never understand the place they had taken in my heart._

_They would never understand the pain they have caused me._

**~XOXO~**

**Deandrea**

I waited. All I could do was wait. I couldn't sit here and cry and sob helplessly like my friends. I could wear a worried expression like my friend Bryce and tap my foot impatiently across the floor like Sean was. But I couldn't cry.

_Crying is for the weak, _a gruff angered voice violently whispered in my head, _It never does anyone good._

I flinched at the voice and stared unseeingly at the white door waiting for the doctor to return with some results. We weren't allowed back yet because we weren't family or something. When the nurse at the front desk explained that to us I sensed it as bullshit and stomped off to sit down totall pissed off.

They didn't see her like I did when I walked in. They didn't see the almost lifeless body sprawled across the bottom steps of our shared house. They didn't run to her with heavy breathes as they called 911 demanding an ambulance with such fierceness that it could destroy an army. They didn't see the empty beer bottles, the bloody knives, the cuts, the drugs, and the barely rising chest.

They didn't see how broken and sad this girl was.

They didn't see Leah Clearwater.

We sat there for what felt like hours but was only a mere 5 minutes in time. I guess when your in the mix of a crisis time seems to move slowly and your heart thumps louder with every tick of the clock. All was quiet except the defeaning sound of each of our hearts. They thumped because they were grieving. They thumped because of the sickening atmosphere.

They thumped because they were scared.

Our attention was momentarily drawn while a group of tall, tanned, and buff men came rushing through the door, behind them two women, two really pale people and a little girl, and a man in a wheelchair. The swiftly made it to the counter the women speaking fast.

"I got a call from her- saying that my daughter Leah was here." Our heads snap up and we all watched the scene before us. "We need to see her."

"Ma'am we cannot let you in." She said irritated.

"Thats my daughter in there!"

"I understand but you need to wait till I'm ready to escort you back."

What kind of fuckery is this? What a selfish bitch!

I get up and storm angrily towards the counter. I slam my fist so hard on the granite that it made a sound that nearly passed as thunder. The nurse jumped with a squeak.

"Listen bitch! I am sick and tired of you fucking shit! This is my best friends mother! My best friend who was fucking lying on the bottom step basically _dead _and so help me if you don't let the mother of that child back there, I will personally kick your skinny, pale ass!" I growled and hissed and bitched as loud as I could. I didn't give a shit if I was making a scene.

"Listen, I understand that you are going through an emotional time-"

"Fucking whore! You don't know what a emotional time is! You are a spoiled barbie skank who doesn't give a damn! Get Leah's mom back there now before I rip your-"

I felt arms wrap around my waist and thats when I realized I jumped on the counter to get into her face. I was furious. I felt heat rolling off of me in waves and I was sure if I didn't get out of here I'd burn the nurses ass off.

"Dia, that is enough." Sean pulled me away and I stuggled against him.

"No! I'm not going to let the wanna be nurse take away time from Leah's mom!" I shouted. His grip just tighted as he took me outside Byrce following behind.

When they looked at me they way they did. I finally did feel like crying.

But I didn't.

Crying is for the weak.


	2. Chapter 2: Wake me up

**~XOXO~**

**Chapter 2**

**Leah**

The pain didn't register in my mind when I first felt a grip of reality. At first all I was, was numb, as if I had been sitting it an ice cube for over thousands of years. _This felt nice,_ I mused. _Is this what it's like to die? Mhmm, this isn't what I expect._

That is when I felt fiery pain pierce through my body as if an ocean of fire seared through my plains of ice causing my numbness to quickly fade. I writhed trying my best not to scream. It was probably a test to see if I was truly ready to die. I knew I was. I couldn't handle the pain and suffering much longer I needed to be dead. I longed for it ever since I've seen that beautiful piece of paper that should have had my name on it instead of _hers._ I should have been dead when they first kissed, I should have been dead when they first imprinted, I should've been dead when my father clutched his helpless heart and died.

I should've been dead when I realized that everything that's bad that's happened to me, I deserved.

It was all because I was born.

The pain continued to flow through my body but as time went on it became bearable. I slowly was coming back to reality and I felt like diving back into the pain. I knew what was happening and I was waking up. I didn't want to be anywhere near the people who cause me this.

_But what about the people you love?_

My eyes began to feel lighter and my heart began to feel even heavier. Soon enough they fluttered open with ease as my heart torn into pieces in the most difficult and painful way. At first all I saw was this strange white room. An annoying beeping sound came from my right. My brain tried to process where I was but it was too much to handle at the moment.

I just stared for a while. I stared unseeingly while listening to my breath. When my brain finally decided to make an appearance I heard the pitter patter of rain, mumbled voices and the beeping noise once again. I glared at the ceiling when I realized where I was. I was in the hospital.

"I think she's coming around Sue." A voice said. That voice sound familiar, so familiar that I wanted to throw up. It's the voice I have been dreading to hear. It was Sam's.

"Yeah, Sue, please don't cry, she'll be okay. Leah's a trooper." I heard Jacob's voice come after words.

I hated that he said that. No, Leah isn't a trooper, she's broken hearted and she needs someone to mend it, to care for it. Because she can't keep trying to do it alone, she thought she would be better but it couldn't happen. She gave up.

"Leah?" I saw a bleary figure in front of my line of sight. I knew the voice before I saw the face. The women who comforted me through so much though end the end it only caused more pain. How it did that I am not completely sure but I know it pained me.

"Mom," my vision cleared and I saw the tears streaming down her round face. Her eyes were bloodshot red and her expression was worried, pained, angry, and hurt. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, baby, I can't believe you! Oh you had me worried sick, literally." She said hugging me tight. I hugged her lightly not wanting to get to close. I knew what I was going to do as soon as I was out of here. I was going to end it all.

I sat up once she was done blubbering over me. I looked and saw Sam, Jacob, and the rest of the pack looking back at me. They all wore pained expressions but Sam's seemed the most intense. He looked as if he wanted to run to me but I knew it couldn't be possible. He'd never love me like that again. He has Emily.

"What are you guys doing-" I was about to finish when the door opened revealing my worst nightmare but my best friend.

De'andrea was a spit fire. I never knew her story but she knew mine and she became so important in my life. I forgot about her so much, but she always came to rescue me when I didn't even know I needed rescuing yet. She was always protective of me, even if it was from me.

_Well she wasn't there this time._

_Shut the fuck up! You did this._

She glared at me once she shut the door. I took in her stance and once my eyes landed on her eyes I was instantly sorry. She was beyond hurt. "God, Dia, I am so sorry." I said tears rimming my eyes.

"How many times have I heard that in my life," She muttered sitting down on the opposite side of the room. "What in the world caused you to do this, Tango?" Dia used her nickname for me so I knew she was upset but also knew she wasn't angry.

"I am so sorry, I'll explain later. Please, just don't hate me okay and don't look so sad."

Her face went blank for a second but she quickly recovered. "Fine, you'll explain later." She sighed. "Sorry for just barging in here, I knew you had family in and shit but Nurse-stick-my-tit-in –your-face said you were coming around and I wanted to be the very first in our group to bitch at you. Though it was an epic fail, I am still the first so it's all good." She shrugged.

"It's fine; this is the pack and my mom." I motioned to each of them and then proceeded to introduce them.

"Oh, so the small vampire family in the waiting room belongs to you to?" She asked.

I swear the packs chins slammed into the floor. "How did she know Leah? Did you tell her?" Sam asked worried.

"No, she didn't I knew Leah was a werewolf since we first met. Let's just say I was born into the 'mythical' world." She sighed picking her now beeping phone. "Well I better head out before Melody, makes a plan to murder me in my sleep because I was over my 10 minute yell feast." She got up and came over to me giving me a hug. "Try to pull that fuckery on us again and we'll bring you back to life and then kill you ourselves then bring you back, and scream at you until you lose all senses." She let go with a stern and dangerous expression. But I knew that look; she was really hurt by what I did.

"I love you too, Bambi." I smiled, hoping to make her happier.

"Viva La Bambi's mother. Fucking hunters had to go shoot her deer ass, what is wrong with them? And what kind of Disney movie is that?" She said angrily while walking out. "Well anyway I'll call you later and maybe see you Friday."

"Maybe," I asked.

"Yes, work all week, but my aunt wants this freaky family dinner."

"Eck, are they going to sit around naked again?"

"Bare ass and all," She smirked. "I love them but there views on things weird me the fuck out."

"You can't say bare ass and fuck in the same sentence."

She smirked again and walked out of the room without another word.

I knew we'd be okay.

Eventually.

Now to face my past.


	3. Chapter 3: It hurts

**~XOXO~**

**Leah**

You honestly wouldn't believe how much shit I got for doing what I did. My mother and Seth literally took turns yelling at me and chewing me out while Jacob stared disapprovingly at me and Sam just stared at me. Then the tears started flowing. Seth cried, which made mom cry, then watching both of them cry made me cry. Luckily Melody came bounding in with her…Melodyness.

"Leah Anne Fucking Clearwater, you have so much shit to explain." She was trying to be mad, but wasn't achieving shit. Her blue eyes were red from all her crying and her hair looked like a ball of brown hay. But of course I'm not going to tell her that one.

"Hey, Mel-"

"Don't you even fucking dare," She spat at me. Oh…Maybe she is mad.

"Mel-"Once again I was cut off.

"What is wrong with you? Were you even thinking about any of us, About De'andrea? She walked in from a totally shitty day at that stupid car shop dump she works at to find her best friend practically dead! You were barely breathing Leah! Do you know how scared we were? Did you know Dia almost beat the living shit out of the nurse because we couldn't see you? She almost ripped that chicks head off when she wouldn't let your mom in. How could you be so careless and fucking stupid?"

"I'm-"

"If you even dare say your fucking sorry, I'll go back out there get in my fucking car, get Dia from her apartment no matter how shaken she is and bring her back so she can beat up your dumbass!" Melody nearly shouted. I was a bit scared to be honest. Melody was always the sweet forgiving one.

"OK."

"Good. Leah! I know it is hard going through every day knowing how much you lost and thinking that you can't get close to anything because you are going to lose so much more. I know! We all know! But you can't kill yourself. Leah what if Dia killed herself off? Huh?"

"We'd probably be a group of shitheads that are even more lifeless and depressed than we are now?"

"Yes, exactly, Leah all we have is each other and if one of us goes than we all fall apart. Do you know how bad it was for Sean to sit in that waiting room? Leah, you're like his baby sister. You guys have been closest since the beginning and seeing you trying to take yourself out just like the way his mom did was agonizing for him. Goodness, don't even get me started on Sarah. You're going to have to handle her and Bryce is just platonic and emotionless. You know De'andrea, she'll have a fucking bitch fit but when she's in front of you she pretends everything is fine. She tries to stay strong for everybody. Lee-Lee you can't put any more heartache on her. Please, I'm not trying to sound like that guy you dated. I'm not trying to blame you for anything I would Never do that but...but…" Then she just started sobbing and all I could do was look at her.

"It wasn't supposed to turn out like this." I stated lamely. Her head rose from her hands and she gave me the scariest glare ever.

"Yeah, you were supposed to be fucking dead huh? You wanted all of us sitting at your damn funeral crying our eyes out, while you were lying in a casket not having a problem in the world, oh wait you would have a problem. You would have left behind 5 friends…no…5 family members who loved you and would do anything to see you happy! You would've tossed everything away, just so you could be cold and numb and six fucking feet under. You clearly don't give a shit about us huh Lee?"

"That isn't what I meant-"

"It's exactly what you meant. You knew what you were doing, you know exactly what would happen. You're probably just screaming inside because Dia found you? Huh? You want to be dead, so bad. Well, why don't I just go get a nurse to give you more fucking drugs so you can go die?"

My words caught in my throat and I looked around desperately. And I knew I would have to tell the truth.

"Mel, can I be honest with you?" She just looked at me and I took in a shaky breath and blew it out calmly. "I didn't think about you guys at all. I didn't think about you guys because I just…didn't. I only thought about the people who hurt me and not the ones who loved me. I just wanted to show those people what they truly did to me. How broken I truly was because of all of the things they did. I didn't think…I didn't think a single thing about you, Sarah, Dia, Bryce, or Sean. Gosh, I didn't even think about myself really. Something just came over me. That dark cloud that always sat above me finally came down and covered me, basically swallowed me whole…I know you don't want me to say this but I am so sorry. Truly sorry, not those bullshit apologies that ex-boyfriends give you when they screw up, I promise. I am so sorry."

She looked at me a little longer till she sighed and shook her head. "Sorry for 10% of what I said…you just pissed me the fuck off and I came in here thinking that I would be mending what De'andrea said but when she came out telling me she didn't have it in her to talk to you all that much I took the opportunity to do it. You hurt her, you hurt all of us."

"I know, I wasn't thinking. It was stupid it was wrong."

"It was. Leah, I know ever since your um…" I flinched. "Thing, you've been on the edge. I know you've been hurting even more. I know what you've been through and I'll make sure you won't hurt anymore. I'll do what I can. I just don't want you see like this every again. I don't want to see you broken and alone and crying inside…Did you even think about your future?"

"No,"

"You didn't think about those 4 kids you always dreamed of having?"

"Well that all changed when I got pregnant then mis…mis…" My lip started to quiver.

"Leah?" My mother gasped.

"What?" I snapped. "Why would any of you care? You people destroyed me, you are the people that I wanted to get away from."

"How are you going to blame us for something Sam did?" Seth seethed growing angry.

"Like you even tried to make it better? You never wanted to speak to me about anything that was bothering me. Every time I had a thought and spoke my mind about it…all of you shut me out. Called me a bitch, a harpy, everything in the book just to get me to stay on the ground and shut up. It wasn't just Sam. He doesn't hold all responsibility."

"Leah, sometimes you just have to screw them. No offense to you Mrs. Clearwater but she needed you just as much as you needed her and you just left her."

"You don't know anything." My mom mumbled, I was a bit surprised but at the same time I wasn't.

"Lee-Lee, if they hurt you that bad you don't need them but you do need to forgive them at some point because it's affecting the life you're living now. It's affecting you mentally and emotionally. Please…just please."

"Will I see you when I get out?" I asked.

"Most likely, I can't cook for shit so; I'm over at your place more than my own apartment." She shrugged, and looked over out the window. "I better get going, Sean's coming back to pick me up."

I wanted to ask why he didn't stay but thought better of it but Melody noticed my expression. "He didn't leave because he didn't want to see you. He just couldn't handle it so we sent him home with Dia…if we had let him he'd be here and most likely giving you the biggest bear hug he could manage…and probably glare at me for yelling at you. He really does care and so does Sarah but we had to send her home too." I nodded.

"Bryce is still here?" I asked.

"Yeah, but he's so pissed off at you that I wouldn't even ask to see him."

"Shit…" I said running my hands through my hair.

"Yeah…"

"I really messed up."

"Yup, but all is forgiven…well not all Bryce still needs to get himself together. I asked him if he wanted to come with me and he said when hell freezes over that's when I'll talk to that traitor…so…"

"Why the hell would you tell her that?" Sam randomly shouted. Melody looked at him then back at me with an eyebrow raised.

"That's uh Sam,"

"Oh…that's Sam. Well, Sam I told her that because in this family we hold no secrets."

"What so Leah can feel worst about herself?"

"Sam, just leave it alone. I'm glad she told me…now I know how much I've hurt everyone that truly cared about me."

"And you don't believe we don't care about you?"

"You've hurt me time and times again…how can I?" He looked at me sadly.

There was a knock at the door and Melody opened it to reveal and depressed looking Bryce. "Hey B,"

"Hey, Sean's here."

"Ok, um…bye Lee-pea." Bryce glared at her knowing fully well what she was doing.

"Bye Mel, by Bryce." I looked down not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes.

I heard him, sigh. "Bye Lee, I'll see you later." I looked up but he was gone and I saw Melody smirking.

Melody turned to me and said, "Oh and Leah?"

"Yes?"

"No one can enjoy freedom without trembling," She said in the softest voice before she left.

**~XOXO~**

_**Sorry about my lack of updates. Its getting stressful and I have been sick for awhile. I'm now in school so updates will start up again but will be more or less frequent. On top of that I am doing student gov. for my senior class, so I have to run and be elected and junk and im having friend issues. Which may be explained in my next story.**_

_**Love you guys! Leave me a review please **_


	4. Chapter 4: She is my heart

**~XOXO~**

**LEAH**

It has been a week since my uh…incident. The pack is leaving today, I think, but first they are stopping by to talk to me. I feel horrible about what I had done. On our usual Friday hangouts with the gang, turned into an intense night with little laughs and a lot of tears. Dia didn't talk to me for a while, claiming she wasn't mad only that she was thinking. She had told me that my trying to kill myself reflect something she had gone through in the pass. When I tried asking about it she shook her head and said she was going to go play the guitar.

When the doorbell rang, a half dressed Dia came bounding down the stairs in spandex and a sports bra. I rolled my eyes; she must have not had enough time to put on her dance sweatpants. I watched as she scrambled to the door to get it. Apparently I'm not allowed to move from the couch today or Dia will kick my ass.

"Hey, Leah's family persons," Dia said opening the door and letting them in. When they have all took a seat in front of me all looking nervous, ashamed, and sad. "I'm going to put some pants on, don't want to make you guys uncomfortable."

"No, I think we enjoyed it too much," Paul said as a douche bag reflex. Both My mother and Sam smacked him in the back of the head.

"Its guys like you that get killed because of their pigheadedness." She walks away and climbs the stairs with ease while throwing her hair in a messy bun.

When she disappeared I say, "You know you shouldn't mess with her and why do you all look like that?"

Seth took a deep breath looking at me with unease. "Leah, can we know what happened to you after you left La Push? And why did you leave here in the first place?"

I looked him in the eye. All I saw was my sad baby brother, the only person who actually tried helping me…sometimes. I mean he was on my side all the time but there even were times when he abandoned me for the pack to. Those times hurt so much.

"You know why, I couldn't take it there." I said shortly. Seth looked back at me sadly.

"Please Leah," He begged.

I sighed and looked up, trying to keep the frustrated tears in my eyes so they won't see me cry. I would be miserable if they even saw me look weak. I collected myself and looked straight ahead. "I couldn't hold on in La Push. I tried. I tried staying for you Seth and Mom. I just couldn't. It isn't because Sam broke my heart or anything because to be honest I could have gotten over that quickly. It's just that I didn't feel like I belonged. I didn't feel wanted. You know what I felt like?"

They shook their heads no, I laughed with a bitter tone. "I felt like that harpy, bitchy, snappy, she-wolf." All their heads hung low.

"So I left. I decided to not to go too far at first and went to Seattle. I spent most of my days hanging around this hotel and eating and taking walks and just thinking. One day I had one of those weird coffee days where all I wanted was a cup of coffee and no food but anyway. I went to this coffee shop and I met Sean, you guys haven't met him yet, but we sat down and started talking to each other. For about 1 week or 2 I've been hanging around him and told him about why I was in Seattle. One day he calls me up and tells me about this group of people he's hanging with and if I wanted to go. So I did. Then I was officially adopted into the group and instantly became best friends with De'andrea."

"Baby, do you mind me asking about how you…?" My mother trailed off but I knew exactly what she had meant.

"Oh. Well a few months ago I met this guy who I dated for about 2 years and I seriously thought we loved each other so yeah. We banged," My mother, Sam, and Seth cringed. "and I got pregnant. Well that asshole totally screwed me over telling me that he didn't want the baby and tried multiple times to get me to get rid of him. Well I didn't and he went off and tried throwing an iron at my head and broke up with me. I came home and told De'andrea about it. None of them took too kindly to that, and flooded his apartment and beat up his car."

I sighed. "One day it was just a day with De'andrea. I wasn't feeling well from the moment I woke up. We thought it was just some late morning sickness, so we ignored it. Soon I started feeling immense pain and-"I choked on my words and notice De'andrea standing against the wall on the other side of the room watching me with an unrecognizable expression. "Then I was bleeding. I don't remember much from the hospital. I just walked in with a baby and walked out with no baby."

"Aw, honey" My mother said brokenly.

"It's okay I'm better now. I mean sure it kind of did come back to bite me in the ass when I took all those drugs and did whatever the hell I did but still. I'll be okay."

"Leah, I'm sorry for everything we did," Seth said the pack nodded their heads.

"Yeah, I guess we were just being stupid jerks when we called you all that shit." Paul said, which surprised me and by the looks on their faces everyone else. "What? I can apologize for the shit I've done?"

I saw Dia smiling sadly in the corner, "Hey Lee, I'm going to go be with Bryce for a while, apparently he's teaching me how to play the guitar today."

"Okay, I'll see you later?" Sometimes she likes to drift off to random places and no one can ever find her.

She bits her lips and nods, "Yeah I should be home around 4,"

I nodded, "Okay bye,"

"Bye," She slips out the door without turning back and I knew that there was something wrong.

"Leah, is there any way we could make home right for you? Because it's not the same anymore without you around, I know soon you would've been out of the house anyway because of college and getting ready to take off on your own but I was hoping to have my babies around a little bit longer." My mom said.

"Yeah, I want to make it right too," Jacob said.

"Yeah," The rest of the pack agreed.

"I guess we could work on it," I say timidly. They all grinned and I had a feeling that we were in for a pretty long ride.

**~XOXO~**

**Sam**

I stared at Leah while she talked with Seth. I miss her.

Emily and I have never been in love. It was never love; the pack thinks we have always been this perfect couple. No that wasn't true at all, I have just been good at hiding things with the pack. Emily always had some problem with me being so close to Leah when she joined the pack. Honestly that imprinting is a leash and I can't wait till I can tell Leah about how it doesn't last and it isn't perfect.

I remember when Jared imprinted on Kim. He was in the mix of fallen for his best friend Reid. Now he was about to tell Reid how he felt about her and was soon going to kiss her when along came Kim. Jared knew then and now that all he had ever wanted to be with was Reid. But imprinting ruined his chance with her. Reid moved on and is now in Spain touring the country then coming back to attend Harvard Law school. Knowing Jared for as long as I have I know that he wouldn't have broken Reid's heart on his own choice. Or maybe I know that from personal reasons.

I'm in love with Leah Clearwater and if I could take back the day when went along with Jake's plan to kick her out of the back for good then I would have. But I can't.

I'll do anything in my heart to get her back.

She is my heart.


	5. Chapter 5: still a bit broken

**~XOXO~**

**Leah**

Things were seemingly normal around here. Everyone surprisingly got along with each other and the imprints came to come see me too. I swear that Dia created a secret alliance with Kim I mean their like best friends now and I've never seen Kim so out of her shell. Things were actually going well…until Sam and Emily go into a little brawl outside.

"So you're going to try and win her back huh?" We were all laughing and having a good time and then we heard Emily screaming her head off like a deranged banshee. I fucking swear she could have blown up a whole army with her screeching.

We all silenced. Except of course Deandrea, "Someone's angry…I wondered who shit in her cereal." That caused the guys to laugh a little.

"Emily, I'm not-"

"Yes you are! If you weren't you wouldn't be doing this to me, to us!"

"Emily I am only doing this because you have been cheating on me for months. I'm okay that you found happiness in what you're doing but god can I please be happy?"

"Sam! I am not cheating,"

"Okay then look me straight in the eye and say 'Sam I haven't been cheating on you and the baby I am carrying is yours.'" He said coldly.

I stiffened and frowned. Bryce looked over at me worried and I give him a shy smile. We hear no response to Sam's request, just the painful silence. Soon enough Emily walks through the door and glares at me.

"I hope you're happy. You finally get what you want, you get the satisfaction that Sam has left me."

"Like you didn't deserve it," I heard Dia mutter.

"D, chill; Emily I didn't want you two to separate…well I did but not anymore. And it isn't my fault that you decided to sleep around." I said honestly. "Just because you screwed up doesn't mean you put it on me."

"Leah, you've screwed up multiple times and I don't understand how that always leads you to a happy ending."

"What happy ending?"

"Oh don't play stupid, you probably tried to kill yourself for attention. That's how you always were and that's why the pack hated you. You always crave attention. Because, you're a little bitch who can't be happy with what she has."

"Can I kill the bitch?" Melody asked.

"She's pregnant, that's against the law." Bryce murmured.

"I can afford some time in jail, my brothers a cop, maybe I'll get off easy." That is the first time we ever heard a thing about Dia's family.

"Guys, its fine, if she wants to leave she can leave. I don't care she's been out of my life before…it shouldn't be too hard to kick her out again." I must say that I am pretty disappointed. I hoped that I would be able to kick myself in the ass and be happy for Sam and Emily but the little cunt is making it hard.

"Well maybe I'll successfully carry my baby." I swear my heart crashed and burned to the grown. I heard a angry scream and a little blur flying across the room to beat down Emily. Emily ran out the door and Deandrea tried killing her again. Bryce ran after her and caught her by the waist dragging her back inside and locking the door.

"Leah?" I looked at Sam and shook my head. I couldn't feel anymore. I felt nothing. I didn't want to be near them right now, I walked up the stairs feeling as if there was lead weighing me down. I shut my bedroom door and just stood there still and unmoving.

Maybe recovering isn't as easy as I hoped.


	6. Chapter 6: Disappointed

**Leah**

I felt a bit disappointed when my bedroom door opened to reveal Deandrea. I love my best friend but I was hoping that if anyone was to come through my door it would be a genie in a bottle.

"Hey," she says softly. "You okay?"

"Yeah totally, my ex-boyfriend and his fiancé, who also is my cousin, just broke up supposedly because of me, then on top of that said cousin decided to throw the fact that I am prone to sterility and can't have any kids because I am a freak of nature and no one will ever love me." I said.

"One, I know of plenty of guys who would love to be called your husband…I actually know someone who is dying for that to happen. Two, forget that chick. She's just jealous because Sam is ending it," Deandrea's expression was kind, like it always was when she would comfort me. I am actually surprised that she turned out so well. I mean sure no one knows her story but if her situation is so horrible that she wouldn't share then she must have been through a lot through her years. So if she has been through so much why did she turn out 99.9% better than the rest of us?

"Why are they breaking up? And what guy?" As per usual Deandrea ignored the question I was truly curious about. And knowing her you wouldn't get anything out of her unless she wanted you to know.

"Well I was talking to him in the kitchen-"

"You were having a civil conversation with my ex-boyfriend?"

"Well, it didn't start out completely civil,"

_**Deandrea POV Flashback**_

_I ran after the dumb twat that hurt my best friend but Bryce caught me by the waist and brought me back to the living room, while the world's biggest bitch face ran out of my house._

"_Sam," I growled. "The kitchen now before I chop your balls off and feed them to my neighbor's dog."_

_He followed swiftly behind me and when I reached the center of the kitchen I turned around and slapped him in the face. The sound bounced all over the kitchen walls and I can say that it was like music to my ears. He didn't seem fazed by my actions but he did seem shocked enough the touch his cheek. _

"_You are sure the spit fire."_

"_You need to tame your talking vagina!" I hissed at him through my teeth._

"_Look, Emily isn't my problem anymore we're done." Sam growled. "I'm done with being the poor pathetic werewolf that imprinted on Emily. She's been cheating on me for months but of course because I love her and she wanted me and that other guy she got to have me and that other guy."_

"_Oh so then Leah comes along and all of a sudden you just randomly decided to go back to her? Oh yeah no its Cuz your dirty wench is sleeping around and giving everyone crabs!" I shouted._

"_She doesn't have Crabs…listen I loved Leah from the start. I couldn't help it when fate decided to screw me over and turn me into a mangy wolf and imprint on someone I don't even love. I wanted to marry Leah. You know we did that cheesy crap? Like taking extremely long walks on the beach and getting matching tribal bracelets. Yeah! I still have mine! I never got rid of it! And oh yeah we even spent 3 days camping together and I told her stories so she'd go to sleep because she's afraid of lightening and the woods freaked her the heck out." Sam ranted but before I had come up with anything to say he started again. "For her birthday I had Jacob help me build a little music playing jewelry box thing that's blue because her favorite color is blue because blue represents winter. And you know I freaking snuck into her backyard to give her flowers every single damn night and almost got killed when her dad brought out his gun-"_

"_Ok, shut up. I get it you love her. Just keep your talking vagina away from her and we won't have an issue." I hissed and stormed out of the kitchen._

**Leah**

I blinked at her a couple of times. "Wow…"

"Yeah,"

"I can't believe he told you all of that stuff…I can't believe he remembers my favorite color and why…" Dia looked at me as if my brain had exploded. "I don't think it'll change anything though. " I shook my head.

"It may…you never know when things will change." Dia shrugged at me then held out her hand. "Dinners ready but we better hurry downstairs." I nodded and followed her.

**Three days later…**

Things have been getting normal ever since the whole Emily and Sam incident. Well as normal as they can be. Everyone was introduced to each other and it seemed everyone was getting along. The only thing that worried me was the fact that Dia has been disappearing a lot lately.

I walked over to Bryce while he was chopping some veggies, still not sure if we had any problems between us. "Hey," I said shyly.

"Sup?" I smiled at the normalcy.

"Nothing, how is the guitar lessons going?" I asked and frowned when I saw his puzzled expression.

"Guitar lessons?" he questioned.

"Yeah, Dia was telling me how you were teaching her how to play and that's why she's always out and about." I said while plucking a knife from the basket and chopping some peppers.

"Uh, hate to break it to you Leah, I don't play guitar at all…if anything I'm a drummer kind of guy." He smirked sadly at me. That's what I noticed about Bryce, he never smiled and if he had a smirk on his face it was usually with Deandrea or about Deandrea.

"Then where is Dia going all of the time?" I asked worried.

"Don't fret over this Leah," Sean said walking into the room. "Dia does this all the time since we've met. She'd be a little dazed when she'd come back but I think wherever she goes to it helps her stay strong. I wouldn't question where she goes though, I did one time and all I got was an extremely broken and sad look in her eyes."

I nodded slowly, feeling tears prick at my eyes. Bryce noticed, "Hey you know Deandrea, if she wants us to know she'll tell us."

I nodded solemnly. Just then Sam came round the corner sending a soft smile my way and I nod towards Bryce and Sean. "Hey, I was going to take a walk, want to come with me?"

I nodded and left with him…this should be rather interesting.

_**AN: hey loves! Sorry I haven't been updating I haven't been myself lately and I figured out that I was having some low self-esteem issues…so I decided I would cut my hair off and bring my sexy back! Haha but that's beside the point. But you can expect all updates to be on Fridays from now on after this week **_


	7. Chapter 7: Sort this out

_**A/N: HI I am back. I am so sorry for those who have been waiting on this update. I hope everyone will thank IBTeri, I dedicated this chappy to her because well, I wasn't really planning on updating anytime soon. To be honest I have been away from my stories for so long that I haven't the slightest idea as to where I planned them to go. But I will try for you guys and I hope that you guys will forgive me and enjoy this chapter. Oh and if you guys read 14yss I have a bit of a surprise for you.**_

**~XOXO~**

**Leah**

I do not have a grip on my feelings.

Sam and I took a walk through the green fields behind the house. I watched as the sun begins to fade away behind soft white clouds. At first I am at peace, feeling the past creep up behind me. In La Push Sam and I used to walk with each other just before dark, it was always before I had to return safely home and get to sleep for the next day. But just like every good feeling I ever had, it left as soon as it came.

"I am sorry about Emily's behavior," Sam spoke up. You could hear the remorse in his voice and the obvious displeasure he held toward Emily.

"Why are you the one to apologize when it is her words that harmed me and not yours?" I asked.

"It…well none of this would've happened if I didn't leave you."

I flinched. No, I didn't want to deal with this right now. No. no. no. "Sam…"

"No, Leah, please hear me out this once and you won't have to hear it again." He pleaded. I was about to object when I saw the look of pure desperation and sorrow in his eyes. I sighed and nodded solemnly, already deeply regretting my decision.

"Leah, that night when you found out…I couldn't bare it. I knew you were the one _I_ wanted. I didn't need anyone's approval. I knew for a fact that it was you and I till the end of time. I didn't plan to be that mangy werewolf. I didn't plan to be trapped into a loveless romance." Shaking his head he continues. "Leah you have to know that I love you. But though I did love you I was never strong for you. I could have fought the imprint like I did today. I could have just walked away from her. The only thing stopping me was me and I am sorry."

I couldn't say anything. Honestly what can you say to that? So I did what my heart told me to do.

I walked away.

"Leah!" Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him. We were so close that I could feel his warm breath blow in my face. "Leah, I love you, Leah please don't go." I froze. My mind completely blown, I thought that after all this time I would be happy but now all I feel is just…nothing.

"What do you want from me Sam?"

"I just want another chance…just give me a chance, that's all I am asking."

Though I know it wasn't what my heart wanted anymore. My head nodded anyway.

…

The way home was filled with silence. Here in there we would ask simple questions that would be easily answered with a 'yes' or 'no'. Honestly I was not up for any conversing. I was just wishing to be in my thoughts.

I walked up to my room. Everyone moved the party to the garage for some odd reason and I easily snuck up the stairs.

I can't believe this. I mean for the longest time I just knew that if he ever did something like this than I'd definitely be with him again. But now that I have been hurt so much and have sorted out my feelings and met people who actually cared, I don't think I could ever go back to that.

I know I said I'd give him a chance but I think I already know this ending

**~XOXO~**

**DIA**

I stared at the lifeless body in front of me. This could be the end…I could end it all. Or I could hold on the shreds of string I have left. I am guessing the three fates look down on me now. Laughing at how helpless I am, because in the end they still have the scissors, and I am not Hercules.

**~XOXO~**

_**A/N: SO THERES A TASTE OF DIA'S PAST…**_


	8. Chapter 8: Even the strongest fall

**~XOXO~**

**LEAH**

I lay on my bedroom floor. I don't know why but this always seems to work when I was in a shitstorm. When I was getting close to finding peace my door swung open and in came a worried looking Bryce.

"Leah, I'm worried about Dia." I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. "She came home looking a little lost, like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders."

"You know she does Bryce. She walks around like everything is okay when it's not and she doesn't speak to anyone about her problems."

"I asked if she was okay…all she did was look at me and walked to her room. Something is destroying her. We need to help her."

"We can't." I shook my head at him. He quickly became angry with me. Though his anger is towards me I internally smile to myself. These guys love and care for each other so much that they don't care who it is saying what, they'll set your ass straight in a second. "Dia is always shielding her emotions. She'll never let us in."

"We have to try." Bryce glared at me. "God, what is with all of you? You all are just shrugging Dia's feelings to the side and claiming we can't do anything. You're all so selfish!"

"Bryce! You have to understand that she wouldn't let us in."

Bryce stared at me for a lone period of time before grinning sinisterly and chuckling darkly. "When you first got here Leah…you didn't want to say a single word to any of us. You shut us out all the time. You barely spoke a word about your past to us and always gave us the cold shoulder. Well Dia never gave up. She got you to open up and to smile and to laugh. And you're just going to sit here and let her be a zombie!"

"Bryce I really think she just needs some time. I mean this has happened before."

He held no emotion in his voice as he looked at me and said "You're such a bitch Leah."

My eyes grew large with my hurt. "Bryce I-" I couldn't even finish my sentence before he left the room.


End file.
